Your character is what separates you from the person next to you. It’s made up of The struggles you’ve been through, the obstacles you’ve had to face, and the victories that have been rewarded to you for never giving up on yourself. Here’s a quick guide on how to build character.
Life teaches you how to build character. It throws curve balls when you think everything is flowing with ease and forces you to think your way out of sticky situations.
Why pain and suffering builds character
Your darkest moments force you to change. It’s up to you to decide if that change is positive or negative.
Everything you’ve experienced from childhood has played an important role in your character development. Unfortunately, some lessons we’ve learned need to be purged from our psyche.
All the limiting thoughts that we’ve learned from our parents:
“I can’t afford…”
“I can’t do….”
“Don’t dream too big, you have to be realistic.”
Those words, as true as they might be in very limited situations, create a closed-ended scenario. They represent an absolute end to a thought.
Words like those hurt our personal growth more than help us to understand the environment we live in.
If we don’t allow the situations in our life to drastically elevate who we are, we become nothing more than a product of our environment, doomed to repeat the same trials without learning the hidden lessons.
Approaching and eliminating those limiting thoughts requires changing your mindset.
Elevate your mindset
Instead of continuing the limiting thought tradition our parents embedded in us, we should work diligently each day to actively remove them. Simply changing how you say things can have a great impact on your brain and open up possibilities you never thought were achievable.
Instead of saying “I can’t afford this,” which sends a signal to your brain that there’s no room for negotiation, try saying, “It’s not in the budget.” This will force your brain to think of ways to bring your budget to the level that you need it to be so you can afford what you originally dismissed.
Instead of limiting your abilities by saying “I can’t build that sixteen feet elaborate closet.” Try saying this instead, “I don’t know how to build that sixteen feet elaborate closet yet.”
These are two vastly different ways to approach the same situation, except one welcomes the challenge and encourages your brain to find the solutions while the other stops you from exploring the idea further.
Your mindset must be the first thing you develop in order to build your character.
“Trials mould your character.” ― Janneker Lawrence Daniel
Personal character development
The most effective and lasting impact on your personal developmental journey is creating positive goals. Setting goals just to avoid circumstances is setting yourself up for failure.
Positive goal: Building a life that brings an abundance of love, happiness, and wealth.
Avoidance goal: Building a life so I’m not lonely and broke.
Same goal, different approach. One feels light and exciting while the other feels sad. Sadness will not drive you to weather the storms of life with a brave heart and the undying determination to achieve your goal. It will have you curled up in bed trying to keep the sunlight out and wishing the day would end.
Positive thinking attracts positive outcomes.
Seven traits to help you build your character
- Eliminate your limiting thoughts as soon as they present themselves by actively changing them.
- Be patient and understand that impactful change takes time.
- Evaluate your goal and dreams by identifying the positive ones and eliminating avoidance goals by changing their underlying tone to positivity.
- Be intentional with everything you do.
- Practice self-discipline and self-care.
- Hold yourself accountable while rewarding yourself for every step you’ve taken towards the betterment of yourself.
- Be honest especially with yourself and then with others.
It’s important that you fully understand that the more is at stake for you, the more immediate your desire will be to accomplish your goal.
The true test and revelation come when you’re able to see sufferings for what they are —lessons— and elevate yourself beyond the hurt and the pain to understand what those lessons have taught you.
You have the power within you to create the life you want to live and to do the things you dream of doing. Building your character through the ebbs, flows, and sudden turns of your life will only prepare you for a future fulfilling your dreams. Dream big and set goals to achieve those dreams.
Nothing worth having comes easy so keep going step by step, one day at a time.
“Clothes fade away, so does the body, but character is indestructible.” ― Abhijit Naskar