The situations that life throws at me sometimes make me want to scream and retaliate in the most destructive way. Those feelings get exacerbated when I’ve been trying to help someone, and they just throw everything in my face like I’ve been the bad guy the entire time. These ebbs make me insanely tired of being the bigger person all the time. But, after going through a million scenarios in my head of how to deal with these situations, I always take the higher route.
When you do good, you will be rewarded with more good in your life. Giving in to the destructive thoughts and feelings of wanting to annihilate someone over the stupid things they’ve done will only loop that energy right back to you.
Before I share why it’s beneficial to be the bigger person, first let me explain what it means to be the bigger person.
What does it mean to be the bigger person?
Let’s face it, life will continue to throw curveballs at you for as long as you live. It’s just a major part of our existence since we are not here on this earth to simply exist. Whatever happens to us is what we have to consciously navigate with grace.
When unwanted and annoying situations arise, the way we react is being watched and judged by the universe. It’s a series of tests to see if we are worthy of our desires.
If anything goes wrong in your life, there’s normally a reason for it. When you’ve identified the reason, you must decide how to handle the cause. Retaliating to do the same thing that was done to you or to do something worse is not choosing the higher route. This is taking the easy route without the full acknowledgment that your actions have consequences and you’re ultimately creating a loop of the said experience.
Deciding to deal with the situation accurately, no matter what horrible things you’d rather do is choosing to be the bigger person.
Sometimes being a bigger person applies to how you handle yourself in certain situations.
It is very easy and more convenient to do the wrong thing. However, to be a better person, the hard decisions must be the only decision.
Three reasons why it is good to be the bigger person
1. Good Karma
As mentioned earlier, when you do good things, good comes back to you. Choosing to take the better path even when retaliation appears too tempting to avoid is sending a message to the universe that you’d rather do good than dwell in a negatively charged environment.
Developing your will and frame of mind to always walk the less-traveled path to goodness will be rewarded. And that reward will come when you need it the most, not when you expect it.
2. Peaceful conscience
The ability to walk away from any situation with your head held high and feeling incredibly light is one of the best feelings in this entire world. Knowing that you could have reacted negatively but chose to act positively is the equivalent of patting yourself on the back.
If someone slaps your face because you asked them not to vape in a packed train during rush hour and you choose not to retaliate and stomp their faces, you will walk away from that situation with a smile.
This is exactly what happened to me on a packed train in New York. The three toxic beings were absolutely clueless on the repercussions if I had given in to my urge to teach them a much-needed lesson.
But instead of doing something terrible—I saw their lives flashed before my eyes—I smiled and calmly told them that they were not worth the time, effort, and energy.
I got off the train at the next stop and carried on with my day knowing that I chose to be the bigger person in a situation that could have gone left so easily.
3. Mental growth
Reacting to situations instead of evaluating and acting positively is a sign that you are not growing consciously. If you’re handling dilemmas in the exact way you did ten years ago, then you have not matured.
As time changes, so does our brain. With that change, we begin to do things differently. The urge to react exactly how you used to will always be there, but maturity becomes evident when choosing to be the bigger person is an automatic choice.
We are not meant to handle situations in the same way we used to when we were kids. If that were the case, we would not mature.
One of the reasons why life constantly tests us is to ensure that we are growing and learning how to become a better person in every situation.
Choosing not to grow is hindering you from becoming the person you’re meant to be and achieving everything you desire.
You might experience a few wins here and there, but when karma comes back around— as she usually does— you will have to pay for the horrible decisions you willingly and consciously made.
Being the bigger person.
Whether you are dealing with a relationship problem, a personal obstacle, or a work issue, carefully evaluate the situation before making any decision. Do not react. Think before you say or do something that you might regret in the future.
Being the bigger person will never be easy because choosing to do the right thing is always the most challenging decision.