I’m tired of looking at screens. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss the time that existed without them, but I’m emotionally over how much of my life is dedicated to staring at one.
Small ones, like my phone, are always with me. I wonder what my life would be like if I were restricted to only using the internet on my computer.
I waste a lot of time staring at this small thing, wondering why I find every excuse in the book not to start something I’ve been thinking about.
I deleted TikTok. I never committed to it anyway, so it always felt like a partial lover I kept stringing along.
Instagram I hardly use. It’s how I stay connected to people I’ve met who weren’t worthy enough to get my number, but I’ve put a time limit on how long I spend staring at things not made by a human.
AI is the way of the world now, but the more advanced it gets, the more people want to connect with real people.
I refuse to allow it to change the way I write. I’ve been reading a lot of posts by writers on LinkedIn about how AI flagged their work as “written by AI” when they’ve spent hours perfecting a sentence.
It’s frustrating, I get it, but the world did go crazy when the ability to generate an entire book from a few prompts became reality.
I believe we’re finding the middle ground now.
It’s like a slingshot. The first time you use it, you pull way too far and end up missing the target, but the more you practice, the less you overshoot.
We’re definitely finding the middle ground now.
It’s here to stay whether we like it or not, but what we should never forget is that humans love connecting with other humans.
So even though the screens are annoying, they’re simply a tool to connect, and as we’ve learned from history, connection is one of the core requirements of being human.
It all comes right back around to balance and self-discipline.
How willing am I to stop staring at screens and do the things I’ve been procrastinating?
Procrastination isn’t always to blame, though. It usually becomes the scapegoat, the low-hanging fruit that’s easy to attach my avoidance issue to.
The deeper question here is why do I have a hard time believing that great things can happen to me? Is that why I delay doing certain things? Because if I never try, I can never fail?
The flaw in this type of thinking is very obvious. It makes zero logical sense. But we’re not logical creatures. We’re driven by emotions first, and logic enters the room after.
I wonder what imprinted on my emotional state so deeply that I started believing I’m never good enough, or never will be.
I’m just a ball of thoughts, emotions, and questions deciphering the confusion of what seems to be my life.
It might seem like I’m disassociating from it, but to truly understand what makes me tick, I have to put on my observation hat and set the emotions aside.
Honestly, I just want to not be ruled by self-doubt anymore. Life will be so much easier without doubting my every move.
